The Bernard L. Pacella, MD Parent Child Center

Resources: Expert Opinion

Limit Setting

By Leon Hoffman, MD

Letters to the Editor, USA TODAY, August 28, 2000

You are to be commended for your many helpful parenting articles. I was particularly impressed by your story, "20% say they used drugs with their mom or dad" ( 8/24/00 ).

Your point that parents have to be parents, not be "buddies," and have to set limits for their adolescents (who are not adults, after all) is something that many parents often forget.

It is important that parents remember that there is a difference between "setting limits" and "punishment."

LIMIT SETTING is for the adolescent's benefit.

With limits, the adolescent will learn to better modulate and master his/her unpleasant feelings; will increase his or her capacity to differentiate between words and actions; learns to develop internal controls of his/her actions; and ultimately will feel safer because he/she will feel protected by the parents.

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